Ok, so I am gay. I know that doesn’t seem like a news flash for those of you who read this column. Anyone who spends more than 5 minutes with me would be able to figure that out. I run a shop in a smaller sized town of about 140,000 residents. You have to keep in mind that I am in rural-ish, hick-ville Ohio. I know there are a TON of gay guys here; most are just not out to their wives or girlfriends. For the most part gay people are not a knowing part of the town’s everyday lives. We gay folk tend to be in the shadows and thought of as decorators or 40+ year old women’s single best friends.

I have a couple that have just recently started to come into my shop. The husband was an attractive man in his mid to late 20’s. He looked like someone that could have been very attractive just a few years ago, but had decided to let middle age spread start a little early. His wife was a cute, petit blond who looked like she was the prom queen, homecoming queen and the star cheerleader all wrapped up. She was that nauseating perky that made you think that her name could be Jennifer, Heather or Brittany. I’m sure her favorite colors were blush and bashful, not plain pink. They were the perfect Stepford Christian Evangelical couple as I would find out.

Now I want to clear something up. I identify myself as a Christian. I do believe Christ died for my sins and I don’t mind telling anyone that asks me about my faith. I try to practice my faith as much as I can and live a decent life. I don’t have any problems with anyone’s beliefs. If you want to believe that an ant is your god that’s your business. I feel that people are entitled when they die to end up wherever they choose. If that’s the great ant hill in the sky, hey it’s your afterlife.

I was off yesterday from the shop. This aforementioned “perfect” couple stopped in. Paul, my cool, early 20’s, straight as an arrow stock boy was working last night. While browsing they saw some pictures of my son on the back wall of the store behind the counter. These pictures are those “drawings” that you get at Chuckie Cheeses. They are the graphics generated pictures that you put a token in and out pops the picture. I feel sorry for the kid, because with his glasses on he is the spitting image of me. He just dresses better at eight than I did. As a gay parent I have to keep him in the latest fashions for the pre-tween set.

This woman in this couple happened to mention that they thought that was me in the pictures. Paul told her that it was my son. They asked then the next logical question for them. Is he married? Paul told them I was not. They evidently were surprised that I had a son. When he asked them why that was they were surprised all they could say was “well he’s gay.” (I want to know who the SOB was that told on me!) They then had to tell Paul what I had already suspected; that they were Christian and that they didn’t know why I would CHOOSE to be gay. Paul told them that my soldier and I have been together for over 7 years. All they could say was that they were sorry for me. I guess they think that I needed to be brought into the real arms of Jesus and I was just leading an unsaved, pagan trash life.

I want to know why every Christian-straight person feels sorry for gay people. You would think that I have some sort of birth defect that medicine cant cure. Normal, straight people think that we have autism and should be pitied and placed in a home and forgotten about. I think that these people take the bible had hide behind it to mask their own insecurities. I can’t tell you how many guys there are in church that are married and looking for guy love on the down low.

I’m not sure if the problem is educational, societal, historical or cultural or all of the above. I never felt sorry any straight guys that CHOOSE to be with a woman. If that is what the guy is programmed to do, then by all means that is what he should do. I just expect the same consideration. Is that wrong?

In the end there are these Neo-Christian Evangelicals who believe that everyone chooses who to sleep with. They don’t get it still. Gay people are made that way. I mean think about it; did every straight guy choose to sleep with women? I bet they never even thought about it. There isn’t any in-between here. Either you are gay or you are not. Either you are straight or not or some people like both. There are really only a few options and most people aren’t able to mentally make the jump from one group to the next. I was married, but all I thought about was being with a man. I was married for social reasons, not for the real reasons people get together. I could never love a woman the way I love my soldier.

We Christians need to come to terms that God makes everyone and that he wouldn’t make us choose who we love. He just asks that we love everyone, not feel sorry for them. It’s a shame that some feel that they can make others love and live like they do, not how God made us to. The next time this couple comes in the store it will take all my compassion and Christian love not to tell them that they are the ones I feel sorry for. After all pink is still just pink.